Self-love and Healing Through Hardship

My name is Nadia, a Moroccan/Italian hybrid living in the beautiful, eclectic and bustling city of Montreal. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend and a lover. I aspire to be a kick-ass lawyer and I hope to make a positive contribution to my fellow gals!

Self-love and Healing Through Hardship

We have all heard this saying before: if you don’t take care of yourself, who will?

Well ladies, the – honest – answer is: no one.

Or at the very least, no one could do it better than you can (I say hooray for women, across the globe).

Why, you ask?

Well, for one, we are stronger than we know – we underestimate the resilience of the human mind and spirit – and two, only we are able to fully understand the intricacies of our beings. I am here to tell you that, you hold the power of picking yourself back up, during moments of hardship. I would like to stress that when times are tough, there is no magical recipe to conjure up, in order to feel better, or some specific plan to follow. You need to follow your own story, your own belief system and listen – very carefully – to your own thoughts and body. Only then, will you find peace.  

Of course, having a solid support system could be an important asset – pivotal, even – while on the path to recovery. However, we are not all able to reap the benefits of having a strong – or even present – entourage. Regardless of our respective situations, I am here to tell you that you hold the key to your happiness, always and in all ways. Not only is that a proven scientific fact, I find it incredibly empowering. We have all experienced hardship – whether it was suffering a great loss, having our heart broken – I have actually lost count, on that specific point – or losing out on a great opportunity. Often times, the going could get so tough, that we would rather stay under the sheets and wait for an apocalyptical storm to whisk us away to another dimension (yes, I have a very vivid imagination). More realistically – and to me, more worryingly – we end up retreating and losing touch with reality.  

I am here to tell you – and of this, I am convinced – that everything shall pass, slowly but surely. Yes, you may not believe it, but it will. I promise. In the meantime, I beg of you to feel your emotions, as they come, honour them and express them fully. Meaning? If you need to eat that whole box of chocolates and cry like you have never cried before, do it. If you need to purge and journal your emotions, until you run out of ink, do it. Whatever the vehicle you choose, trust it, feel it and own it. It truly is the only way.  

Also, do not be shy to talk about it. This is where the solid support system comes in. Reach out to a family member, a partner or a friend; not only will you release your darkest emotions, you might actually help that person out, during the process. Do not forget, we are all suffering, in our own way. That shouldn’t be seen as a sign of weakness, but as a sign of growth (remember that). So, call your best friend / lover / parent or sibling, head to the nearest coffee shop (or order in, whichever you prefer) and vent. And of course, do not skim on trying out that new ever-so-fattening caramel frappuccino thingamabob. Trust me, it will be worth it.   

Finally, and most importantly, be kind with yourself. Love yourself, every inch of your being. You are your best friend; you are unique, as bright as the sun and as beautiful as it can be. You owe it to yourself to feel what you are feeling – the good, the bad and the ugly – and move forward. This world, this pressure cooker of a world, needs you, for all that you are and all that you could bring to it. You can’t be of service to this planet and to others, if you are low. You can’t aspire to bring about change, if you are low. So, my courageous one, look at yourself in the mirror – mascara running and all – gaze at your beauty and let that lovely – and strong – spirit shine through. We need you and most of all, you need you.

Nadia Benelfellah


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