Nydia is a Self-Love Coach who created the Love U Movement to help sexual trauma survivors (re)learn how to love themselves. She is the co-organizer of Black Women Rise, a wellness Summit for Black women. The event will take place in Montreal on May 6th. Get your ticket at a special Girls Action Foundation rate by emailing us at firstname.lastname@example.org
** Trigger warning – Sexual trauma related content **
Today I wanted to share with you one of the key moments of my self-love journey. It happened when my partner at the time, who knew that I was a sexual trauma survivor, asked me on a random day, “how do you go on as if nothing happened?” I brushed him off and said “I don’t know. I just do”.
But deep down, with that simple question, he made me realize how much I wasn’t going on. I was passively going through the motions of post-trauma life and had kinda accepted it as my new norm.
This made me think and ask how happy was I really with my life and with myself. Was I ok living this way forever? The more I questioned myself, the more I got closer to this core question: did I believe that I deserved more?
Have you ever asked yourself that question ?
I do believe that the Universe, God, what you believe in, manifests what we need when we are ready to receive it.
A few months after coming to the realization that I wanted more out of life, a friend of mine candidly shared that she was seeing this amazing therapist who would soon become a cornerstone of my self-love process.
So for me, it was consciously declaring that my life could be better, for you, it could simply be downloading my Self-Love Starter Kit for Sexual Trauma Survivors. The key is to take a step in the right direction.
Put your self-love first and the rest will follow…
And putting self-love at the heart of your healing works. It becomes the filter through which you look at the world. When you do, making decisions becomes so much easier because you start asking yourself what I like to call the Magic Self-Love Question – is this reinforcing my self-love or compromising it? In other words, how will it make me feel physically, emotionally and spiritually?
The goal is to really reconnect with yourself and how you feel. With time, you’ll start to gravitate towards decisions that reinforce your self-love, but until you get there, you are at least becoming aware of the decisions that are compromising it.
I want you to try it out. When confronted with a tough choice today, ask yourself the Magic Self-Love Question? This is super important, especially with everything negative we are seeing in the news. Asking this question will slowly but surely transform you into a Self-Love Pro, able to put self-love first, no matter the circumstances and guilt-free!
With so much love,